Annoying Facebook Friends? Give ’em the FaceBOOT!
How do you feel about Facebook members on a mission to amass the max number of ‘friends’ in record time… for no apparent reason? Certain Facebook peeps have been getting right up my nose with this approach lately.
I mean, if your name is John Reese, fair enough! John has a record of getting to the 5000 limit in the shortest time… but these were all people on his optin subscriber list and/or that he personally knows. Go John! Btw, have you heard the 5000 limit may get lifted?!
I’ve been known to remove friends – even block a couple folks who really stepped out of line with me. But, it wasn’t until I read gal pal Liz Lynch’s recent post Breaking Up with the Lazy Networker that I had a “duh!” moment.
Here I was griping to my hubby tonight for the umpteenth time about a few dudes whose friending strategy really doesn’t align with mine. And, Ty, in his infinite wisdom says to me, “Why don’t you just unfriend them?” Um, hello? Clever hubby… and he’s totally not into Facebook. I can’t get him to budge into the social media world. hehe
If you’ve heard me speak lately, one of the pieces of advice I frequently give is everyone needs to have their own friending policy on Facebook. I used to be more rigorous about checking out the profiles of each incoming friend request. Now, to better manage my time, my policy is to go ahead and accept around 90%… and then remove those who aren’t quite a fit for my style.
My criteria for removal may include:
- duplicate accounts (against Facebook’s Terms of Use),
- a profile that takes forever to load due to all the graphic-rich apps (this could change with the launch of Facebook’s new profile design),
- spammy content on their profile and/or posting spammy content elsewhere,
- sending me solicitous multiple-recipient emails when I have scant relationship with the person (yet) nor any of their other recipients,
- focusing on quantity vs. quality (e.g. thinking it’s a competition to get the highest number of friends no matter who they are, as opposed to focusing on deliberately friending hand-picked people who align with your values and match your target market and reaching out to build rapport and nurture a win:win relationship with them).
By the way, I totally acknowledge that this post could upset a few peeps. So be it. There’s no point in trying to please all the people all the time. The more clarity you have about yourself, your message, your branding and your target market, the more you can be lovingly ruthless with your standards!
To delete a Facebook friend: go to their profile, scroll to the bottom and click on Remove from Friends.
How about you? Do you have a friending policy? And what action do you take when you find one of your Facebook friends isn’t someone you want to include in your community afterall?
Great points by the way. I’ve never, even when on myspace, been in a race to amass the most friends. It’s good to know I’m on the right road. I’ve not accepted people just because I’ve noticed some of the same things you’ve said. I’ve also noticed I have been getting the “spammy” invites to groups I really have no interest in. The people never tried to get to know me!
Great points thank you!
Mari, I am actually reading your blog for my homework assignment from the Blog Squad (LOL). But, I have been on calls with you and taken your classes. My name probably rings a bell or at least I hope a little chime! I really like how you boldfaced a lot of your words to emphasize things on your blog. Also, I learned how to remove a friend from facebook. That is great advice because I have one person who I don’t know who sends me dumb crap just about everyday!! I open up Facebook and see like 30 things she has sent me! Then when I click on it to see it, I have to download the application. It is a real pain in the ass! So, thanks for that. Also, the length of your blog is perfect, not too short, not too long. I am a virgin blogger–so if you could check out and comment on my blog that would be soooo great!(look for my name on the class page) I know that in addition to being the Facebook guru that you are, you also have done some work in the area of relationships and dating, which happens to be my area also. So, feedback from you would be greatly appreciated. Keep up the good work Mari!
PS…it is my first blog, so go easy on me!
Great write! It goes the same for myspace.
@Jacqui excellent point about how we approach networking F2F being just as relevant online.
@Marc I like what you say about no remorse. Very true. The person doesn’t even know they’ve been removed unless they proactively go looking for you in their feed or your profile. You’re right too, no different in-person!
@Mary I have asked people to stop with the invites… one guy I recall kept doing Events somewhere exotic like Barbados. I kept getting daily invites, so asked him to please not include me .. and he just told me to remove him as a friend. Fair enuf.
@Shama wow, 3 chances eh? You’re generous. LOL
@WebSuccessDiva hey Maria, thx heaps! & appreciate you tweeting my post today too.
@Jim two thumbs up! Thx for your perspective too.
Whew, I was a tad apprehensive writing this post… you just never know if some peeps will get upset. Oh well. But I do agree with Mary, I feel *liberated* too!
Hi Mari… I couldn’t agree with you more about these folks looking to get “5k Friends in 30 days.” My target market is folks looking to do business on the Internet and need some training.
So my policy is fairly liberal. BUT once they become annoying with all the SPAM and “join my group so I can have 5k memberes in 30-days” I will “block” them in a NY-minute.
Cheers!
Jim Turner
Mari 🙂
As usual, you are right on!
Maria Reyes-McDavis
Web Success Diva’s last blog post.. So, you want to be an online entrepreneur?
Absolutely Mari! I usually see their profile first. If it’s sketchy-I don’t accept.
Usually, I also give them 3 chances. 3 chances to either spam or invite me to silly groups (get 1000 friends by tomorrow!)-then they are out.
Shama’s last blog post.. New Design, Better Content, Sharper Focus
Mari,
Thank you for writing this post. I was JUST feeling a twinge of annoyance at a “new friend” who is repeatedly sending info about “me having confidence in him.” After reading your article. I feel liberated…and will be deleting a couple more while I’m at it. I have done this a couple of times already…but have hesitated a few too many times.
Is there a way to ASK people to STOP inviting me to their group? Or is the only solution to delete them?
Mary Allen
I friend first as in a hand shake at a party and then boot when the conversation gets dull or one-sided.
I think I’ve removed 10 people so far? Not a lot but continual requests for apps, or promotions or sending me updates about products you want me to buy.
Boot!
I’d walk away in a real life situation and it’s not difference on FB.
Plus, there’s no remorse when booting people. Unlike email lists, I actually don’t have to see updates from them, get messages and there’s no hard feelings.
I prefer to friend first and then remove if they cross my own personal line of what I want to see when I login to my networks.
Hi Mari
I agree that caution needs to be used when growing your FB community online. Yes there seem to have been a glut of people in recent weeks who just seem to friend for the sake of friending. I myself have increased my list rapidly however I do always look to see if the person I connect with appears to have mutual friends and common interests with a view to developing working relationships with them over time. I am getting pretty annoyed with a daily influx of fairies, flowers, hugs and pokes (especially from creepy men!) and other junk videos from You Tube. My rules for online networking are the same as I have taught to endless people over here in the Uk when networking face to face, if you can’t find common ground, no point in trying to build a relationship, it will always be a difficult one so move on and in the case of facebook, press the delete key if the bond just ain’t there.
Keep up the good work
Jacqui T