It's Not The Money: What Married Couples Are Really Fighting About

Money fights: it's one of the major causes of marital breakdown, according to a wide variety of sources and studies. Do we fight because one partner overspends and the other is a tightwad? Or is it disagreements about the use (and misuse) of credit cards? Maybe it's a difference in risk tolerance. Or inadequate planning for the future. Perhaps one partner earns more than the other.

All these are valid reasons for struggles with money in a marriage. But, are they the real cause of the arguments? Is it really the money? We believe not - money is simply the trigger for much deeper issues.

Money is so pervasive - it impacts almost every area of our lives. We have to make decisions about money practically every day. But, money is not our enemy; it's just a form of energy, an exchange. ("Wee bits of paper," as my frugal Scottish dad would always say).

Money gets the blame for SO much trouble and strife in relationships. But the real issue is what's underneath. These issues are typically rooted in childhood, caused by decisions we made as we watched, heard and modeled our parents. Issues like not getting what we wanted, believing that rich people are mean, and that you have to work very hard to make a living. We might've heard messages like, "money is dirty," "money doesn't grow on trees," or "money is the root of all evil."

So, the next time you find yourself knee-deep in an all-too-familiar fight with your spouse about what seems to be money - STOP! Take a moment to look deeper inside yourself at what's really bothering you and then share that with your honey. This is your golden opportunity to take full responsibility, be vulnerable, heal, grow and mature your marriage into the most fulfilling relationship of your life. Period.

Marriage/commitment can be a tough journey, but it's truly worth it. It's only in our most intimate relationships that we have the opportunity to reach our fullest potential. Money is our friend and a tool to help us get there... if we allow it.

For our recommended reading on love, money and marriage, visit http://www.coupleswealth.com/.

Build Wealth: Start By Turning A Few *Bucks Into $1000+!

Are you a coffee drinker? If so, have you ever stopped to tally up how much you might be spending on a weekly, monthly or yearly basis at your favorite cafe?

David Bach, author of Smart Couples Finish Rich, talks about "the latte factor." That is, every time you spend, say, $3.95 on a whoppa-frappo-mocha-chino (not to mention the $2.75 on the low-fat lemon-cranberry-walnut cake and another $4.50 on a pineapple-pina-colada fruit smoothie drink), you're basically robbing yourself of your financial freedom (or retirement) account.

As a recovering Starbucks addict, I tend to agree with Mr. Bach. And so I adopted my own coffee-fix system. I bought one of those nifty little whizzers that froth up your milk. (I paid $20 at Good News kitchen supply store).

I get a mix of delicious flavored coffee beans (like hazelnut and cinnamon - try mixing two flavors!) from my local store. And I use my favorite mug (holds about 16 ounces and has fun zoo animals on it!). Then, every morning I go through my fun ritual of using my French press to brew a yummy cuppa, topped with frothy milk with a dash of freshly ground nutmeg on top. YUM!

So, how much am I saving? At roughly $25 per week, that's over $1,300 in savings over one year! Add that to my ING Direct Financial Freedom savings account at 4.35% interest and I've got an extra $56 on top!

(My hubby, Ty, doesn't touch a drop of caffeine - lucky him! But he sure loves it that I now invest in Starbucks stock rather than drinking their coffee!)

I know, I know. Sometimes home-made coffee just isn't the same as the whole EXPERIENCE of going to Starbucks or Peets or wherever. You can always adopt Loral Langemeier's counter-philosophy. She poo-poo's the latte factor idea. Instead, Loral favors cranking out a great big cash machine (a lucrative business doing something you're good at) and creating MORE money. That way, you can have your whoppa-chino and your cake and your money!

I say, choose whichever method helps you get closer to your goal of lowering your expenses, increasing your income and building long-term WEALTH!

Couples: Stop Fighting About Money and Start Building Wealth!

I've been so darn busy this summer, I haven't taken a quick minute to make blog posts. Well, let me explain:

August 12, 2006 was a landmark day for me. First, I turned the "Big Four-Oh!!" (Woo-hoo, now life really is just beginning. A whole new decade. I intend the 40's will be even more incredible than the 30's. See my mega-party details here.)

Second, I launched a NEW business: CouplesWealth.com. I offer coaching and educational programs for couples to help turn your money fights into money freedom... and, from there, to build wealth together as a TEAM!!

If you are married (or in a committed relationship) and having money struggles (whether major or just a few "hiccups"), come on over to my site and browse through a huge array of free resources: Video, Audio, Special Reports, Quizzes, Recommended Reading, Articles and more.

Cheers!
Mari